An American Now

This will likely be my last blog post from China.

Two.  More.  Nights. (and a very long day) before I get to see my babies at home again. :)

This morning was our consulate appointment, wherein we took the oath for Elliott and he became a U.S. citizen.  Just like that.  There was no pomp and circumstance.  We stood in a room with a dozen other adoptive families (just one other from our Holt group) and repeated the oath back in unison to a lady behind bullet-proof glass at a counter.  (I would show you photos, except that we were not permitted to have any electronic devices on us at all.)  Then a gentleman reviewed our folder of paperwork, and we were dismissed.  Tomorrow one of the Holt staff will drive back over there and pick up Elliott's visa and immigration packet.  And then we are done, folks.

Saturday morning, our luggage needs to be outside our door by 5:30 a.m. for the bellboy to pick up, and we will be meeting our guide for the last time at 6:00 a.m. to be escorted to the airport.  We have a little hop from Guangzhou to Beijing, and then (after a little over 6 hours in the Beijing airport), a LONG flight home. :).  Finally.

Thank you all for all your prayers, kind comments, and awesome encouragements throughout this whole adoption process.  Your support has been so appreciated.  And thanks to my parents not only for all of their support, but also for dropping their lives to take such perfect care of our three precious children and crazy Great Dane at home these past 2 1/2 weeks.  It has been difficult enough missing them . . . and a blessing not to have to worry about their well-being while we've been away.

(Oh, did I mention that Matt is being sweet enough to let me get a 2-hour Chinese massage tomorrow afternoon?  A legitimate massage....not like the one he was offered yesterday from a 'lady of the evening' when he made an ice cream run at 8:00 p.m. to the McDonald's literally next door to the hotel.  He did take her business card, though, if anyone will be in the area in the near future.)

I am leaving you tonight with a picture of our entire Holt travel group and a couple sweet photos of Elliott and his betrothed, Joya. :)

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My Favorite City In China

I decided today that Guangzhou is my favorite of the three cities we have visited in China.  It feels cleaner and friendlier, and it is just so gorgeous here.

As promised, here are a couple photos of the street our hotel is on.

Today while the majority of children in our group became U.S. citizens, we walked about 10 minutes to an absolutely gorgeous park.  The remainder of these photos were all taken there.  It was so peaceful walking around the park, with I-don't-know-how-many people (mostly of the retirement age) walking, exercising, performing Tai Chi, admiring bonzai, singing oh-so-beautifully.  (We heard that our friend, Kenyon, became a celebrity figure for his singing at this same park yesterday.  How I wish we could have witnessed that....)

Dozens of bonzai plants on display. 

 

An exercise/play area for the retirees.

 I can picture my mom and aunt sitting up there.

Tomorrow we sadly bid good-bye to a good portion of our group.  In order for us to travel with the the 3/16 travel group, we had to accept a consulate appointment date a couple days later than most of the others.  Tomorrow is another free day for us, then Elliott will be sworn in as a U.S. citizen on Thursday.  Friday we will receive his visa.  Saturday we get to travel home to the three precious blessings I have missed so very much.  I can't wait for those hugs.

Photos

I'm about ready to crash for the night, so this post will be mostly photos.  :)  These first 4 photos were taken on the 4th floor garden/play area of our hotel (the China Hotel in Guangzhou).

This is 1 of 3 little seating areas off of the garden/play area.

Today, we opted to go on an outing to the Safari Park with several other families from our group.  The weather was gorgeous, and the park was impressive.  It is supposedly the largest animal park in Asia and home to more than 400 species.  Here is a very small sampling of the 122 photos I took while there. 

You can buy bunches of bananas to throw out to the elephants.

(These elephants were waiting to catch some.) 

The Safari Park is home to 12 giant pandas.

We happened to catch feeding time for them. 

Matt feeding the giraffes while Elliott screamed for his life. 

On the way back to the hotel.

Changes

When you meet Elliott, you will see a very friendly, outgoing boy who smiles all the time.  He frequently does things to get reactions from people, and he is endearing.  He waves to everybody, and he will walk up to complete strangers and ask to be picked up or held.

This sounds perfect, doesn't it?  It's not.

When entering a room, 'normal' children will hang back a bit and look to their parents for a 'read' on the situation.  They are cautious and will take cues from their parents on how they are to act in that environment, with those people.  Elliott looks to everyone as potential caregivers.  He has shed few tears this week because we are just another change in his short 3 years of life, and he looks to other adults as other potential changes.  He does not yet comprehend that he is with his family.


When discussing adoptive children, you may have several issues with which to deal.  At the most basic level, though, you will encounter issues dealing with either attachment or grief.  Children (such as those in orphanages) who have not had consistent caregivers in their lives may need help in fostering attachment to their new parents.  Children who have been in foster homes and have actually formed attachments with caregivers will grieve the loss of their precious relationships; however, it is said that if they have formed attachments in the past, they will be able to form them again.  (Highly recommended reading for those interested is Patty Cogen's 'Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child.')

We were expecting more grief with Elliott since he had been with his foster family for more than a year and since we were told that he was close to his foster mom.  However, when he was found around 6 months of age, he spent a few months in an orphanage before being transferred to his first foster family . . . and then about a year and a half ago, he was moved to a Holt-sponsored foster family, where he stayed until last week.  Too many changes.


Our main issue at this point in time is trying to help Elliott to realize that we are his parents.  While we are so excited for everyone to meet him, I hope you will understand when we redirect him back to ourselves when he asks you to pick him up.  Please feel free to smile at and engage him, but for awhile he needs to hold our hands.  It's not that we don't want to share him or that we don't want you to touch him.  It's that he needs to learn who his parents are, to whom he should be attached.

Elliott is already starting to look back for us when he walks away, and today he seemed to not be as quick to ask others to pick him up.  Other parents in our group have helped by warmly receiving him, but quickly redirecting him back to us.  Also, his need to communicate visually with us is also helping, as he needs to have good eye contact with us.  So, we are already seeing some positive changes, but it will take some time.

Our other issues at the moment deal with communication and setting boundaries.  Elliott is extremely good at letting you know what he wants and what he doesn't want.  It took him a couple days before he even tried to learn any ASL signs from us.  (He was, after all, very skilled at getting what he wanted by using his own gestures.)  He has caught on now and will repeat signs back to us and has begun using a few signs himself without our first prompting them.  Elliott is quick to grab for what he wants and quick to scream if he doesn't get what he wants.  Hopefully as his ability to communicate with us via signs grows, these tendencies will improve.

Thankfully, we have undoubtedly the best ASL teachers in the world to help with the communication gap.  Pat and Brian from the Northern Virginia Resource Center have been so invaluable in our preparations before we left for China, and they are willing to help our entire family during our adjustment period upon our return home.

Positive changes from here.  ;)

A Different World

Guangzhou feels very different than Beijing and Changchun. It is warm and green....the people speak Cantonese....and the roads seem to be a bit safer.  Where we were getting stares from locals up in Jilin, we are among many adoptive families here at the hotel. It's a completely different experience.  (I still need to get some photos of the area around our hotel.)

Yesterday our Holt group met after breakfast and took a bus to the medical clinic.  That was an experience.   The building seemed nice, but there was just a mass of people trying to get their new children through 4 different stations--photos, height/weight, general exam, and ears/nose/throat.   This is what the hallway looked like:

Fun times.

The ENT doctor knew from his medical forms that Elliott is deaf, so she needed to confirm that, I suppose.   Her method....take a colorful squeaky toy and squeak it quickly in front of each ear, passing it in front of Elliott's face.   He followed it with his eyes as it was swiped in front of him, so we are wondering if the kind doctor took that as evidence that he can actually hear.

In the afternoon, one parent from each family had to meet to make sure all our paperwork for the consulate is in order.  Our Holt (adoption agency) and Lotus (travel company) guides were there, so we discussed possible outings for the remainder of the week.  Last night we walked down the street from the hotel and ate dinner with Laurie and Kenyon and their adorable Joya.

Today most of the families in our group took a bus with our Lotus guide to Shamian Island to do some shopping.   It was a gorgeous morning

Tonight we will be going to a Cantonese restaurant with our entire group.  Tomorrow we are opting to go with several other families to the Safari Park so Elliott can see some pandas and giraffes.

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In Guangzhou

We made it into Guangzhou around 9:30p and were met by another fantastic guide. She was so sweet and talked a mile a minute on the way to our hotel. It is definitely warmer here, and the China Hotel is very nice. Our room (Executive 55 suite with no executive floor privileges) seems a bit excessive, so we may talk about down-grading tomorrow.

The people speak Cantonese here, so the two words we knew in Mandarin won't do us much good here. :)

Elliott did great on the flight. (We are just over our 'honeymoon' period, so he's been testing boundaries....more on that later.)

Looking forward to seeing the rest of our Holt group in the morning!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Blog Links

I am not quite sure how I make the cute little links over at the side of my blog to other blogs which I follow and would recommend . . . so I'm posting them here.
www.inaworldsurroundedbymen.blogspot.com
(The link is there...it just happens to be black text. :) Either just click on it, or type this into your browser: www.inaworldsurroundedbymen.blogspot.com.) This is the blog of good friends traveling with our same group from Holt.  Their adjustment period has been quite different than ours . . . so a good comparison read for those who will be traveling for adoption at some point.  My heart breaks for them.
www.planetrh.blogspot.com
This blog is by a couple from DC who recently returned from China with their new daughter.  Jilin was their province as well.  Awesome blog that reads as a travel guide for those adopting from China . . .